Feb
19
I’ve just had an artisan give me a quote for £1.5 million for restoring the place to its former glory. Now, calling in DIY SOS would cost me nothing, and would allow me the pleasure of having Nick Knowles in my tradesman’s entrance. However, would that little electrician chappie cope with rewiring 300 chandeliers? Any suggestions?
Comments
14 Responses to “Should I call DIY SOS to refurbish the my stately home?”
Unfortunately, it sounds as if you’re stately home is a bit on the shabby side. But, I doubt may diyers could restore it so 1.5 might be a bargain. Yes, I’ve given it thought; it is indeed a bargain price. Hire the artisan; hire him straightaway as he is probably busy as the dickens. Perhaps give him a room or two to stay in during the restoration process. I believe this is the ticket. A restoration, a bargain and a man about the house. Better yet!!! Ask the chap to move in with you, become your lover, get the home restored for free, and boot him out.
If he can rewire one chandelier he can do 300 of them. I wouldn’t worry my pretty little head about it if I were you.
My dear, refurbishment is either done magnificently, with a new wing or two and some waterfalls, or not done at all. What was good enough for your great-grandmother is surely good enough for you. These television people are the type that buy their own furniture, you know.
Felicity, had this problem myself a year or 2 back. Whatever you do, do not allow those scruffy television people into your fine home.
How I solved the solution was to spend £250,000 having some Roman mosaics forged and buried by the stables. I then had it ‘accidentally’ discovered by Giles the stable boy while excavating a grave for some of my tenant farmers who were behind with the rent.
One quick phone call to the National Trust, and with the help of some preservation grants from Brussels, they gave me £2 million in order to not destroy this ‘priceless’ Roman find.
Complete restoration of the fine old house, with quite a bit left over for a ski jaunt to Aspen, a new bathchair for Great Aunt Mildred and a few fine bottles of Krug
I have often had young Nick and his crew busying themselves in my tradesman’s entrance. It was a jolly experience but they did make a bit of a mess. Of course, Lady F, if you’re comfortable with this then I would recommend you have them in asap. While you’re at it, see if you can’t get little Alan Titchmarsh to titivate your bush – back and front.
Who needs to bother with DIY when there are so many young pros all too eager to give a hand?
Good luck!
I can foresee two possible problems here. Firstly, is your ladyship’s tradesman’s entrance big enough to take this fellow along with his colleagues and secondly, one must weigh up the significance of ones standing in society at having allowed ‘workmen’ from televisitron company enter ones personal environment.
Surely, it would be far more dignified and traditional to increase taxation on the local rabble.
Don’t waste your time and save your money. I have seen many attractive women as yourself get the best possible remodels of homes for “free”. It is quite simple and pleasurable when done correctly. All that you need to do simply is look at the quote for the artisan, he is undoubtedly charging you for his knowledge of multiple restoration areas. Over the course the year you will need to date approximately 22 carpenters, 30 electricians (may be more with that number of lights, but 10 each give or take should be do-able), 12 flooring installers, 7 general contractors, 17 painters, 4 roofers, and then go ahead and spend the money on the plumbers… that isn’t a bargain considering… well you know. Get ready for wild rides and a busy schedule!!
why not.
wouldnt be losing out on anything
except prehaps an extra £1 added to your phonebill.
Madam, please allow me to be your knight in tarnished armour; I have constructed, in my outhouse, a time machine.
It is my intention to travel back in time and return with some suitable workmen to inspect your palace via your back passage.
Might I suggest Mick (DeAngelo) and Lenny (DaVinci) for starters. If all else fails, they should be able to russle you up a helicopter.
Dahling, you know you want the artisan. SoO just hire him…
No, No, a thousand times NO.
Those TV dolts are always working on the cheap and make everything out of painted plywood. They’ll throw out your chandeliers and replace them with ceiling fans and you’ll be pulling plywood splinters from your alabaster bum for weeks!
Please don’t allow these “Gay eye for a straight eye” mongoloids onto your establishment!
That would be like asking you to shop at Kwik Save for fodder, instead of the usual High Class butchers and stuff.
If you want to alleviate the boredom as such, yet are prey to mindless daytime TV designed to keep housewives awake and you have a hankering of having screeching, prima-donna talentless designers shrilly lay waste to your traditionally rendered grounds then invite the A Level spastics over for some lunch, and then chortle as they get picked off one by one by Japanese Assassins.
Then, spend your money on PROPER, hard to find artisan builders and decorator. It’ll cost a bomb but worth it see. I recommend the builders from Prague. And, if it’s plasterers you want go to Goah.
Unfortunately me Lady DIY SOS are down in Dorset for the next 20 years refurbishing Corfe Castle, but i under stand that Tommy Walsh’s is free with his team, me Lady.
My dear Lady P, one is sure that Mr Knowles would love to refurbish your tradesman’s entrance however my man Bagthorpe (87) has suggested his in bread half cousin Mickey “The Tarmac Layer” Maun he apparently can lay any thing for a few quid and also puts his band of lackeys to work in quite a few homes doing a bit of furniture removal and redecoration shall I have him call you, that reminds me the last time he was here I seem to have lost the Manor Gates hmmm.